I think I have a crush on him

 I think I have a crush on him

right?

or am I just bored and lonely

its so painful to always have to check my feelings for someone because of my problem with sex
with giving myself to someone, with not being taken serious, with commitment, with self image

it hurts not only me but the relationship
him

I wanna just let myself go and love
but I'm too awake and conscious
to make such brave move

18.01 

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